Flash Cards for Ex-Pats

I recently ran into a friend at a local coffee shop. He was leafing through a stack of index cards with short phrases written on them. When I asked what he was studying, he told me that he was trying to learn Spanish, and had created the cards with the hope of learning enough to allow him to survive in a Latin-American country.

It seems that he had recently spent three weeks in Guatemala to test the waters or living there.

“Why Guatemala?” I asked.

He said that he was so fed up with what was happening in this country that he felt it may be time to leave. I told him that any right-wing “America, love it or leave it” talk was really just that. These are the same ugly people who tell other Americans to “go back where they came from.”

He felt strongly enough to do a fair amount of research on the climate, both weather and political, as well as economics and relative friendliness of other countries. While I, myself am not ready to leave the U. S., his quest did give me an idea for a business venture.

With an ever-growing number of people leaving and/or getting run out of America, why not help the expatriates out a bit? I decided that there is a market for flash cards that would help Americans learn a new language in a way to help them assimilate more smoothly into their new land.

Below are some sample cards in a variety of the countries and languages to give you an idea about my new product.

CANADA

En ce qui me concerne, tout pays qui nous a donné William Shatner est d’accord avec moi.

As far as I’m concerned, any country that gave us William Shatner is okay by me.

Alors, où est-ce que je vais pour les soins médicaux gratuits?

So where do I go for the free medical care?

NEPAL

Tapā’īṁ yāka bhandā an’ya kunai pani māsu bōkna garchan?

Do you carry any meats other than yak?

TAIWAN

Wo yi zhi cheng ren ni de zhu quan

I have always recognized your sovereignty

MONTENEGRO

Žao mi je što je moj vođa gurnuo vašeg premijera

I’m sorry that my leader shoved your Prime Minister

NETHERLANDS

Wacht. De drugs zijn niet vrij? Jij noemt dit gesocialiseerde medicijn?

Wait. The drugs aren’t free? You call this socialized medicine?

ISRAEL

האם מישהו כבר יכול לסרב את מיזוג האוויר כבר?

Could someone maybe turn down the air conditioning already?

NORTH KOREA

Deol michin jidojaleul gajneun geos-i johda.

It’s nice to have a less crazy leader

yeogie gaega eobs-seubnikka? waenyahamyeon naneun gaeege aju alleleugigaiss-eo.

There’s no dog in this is there? Because I’m highly allergic to dog.

ITALY

Non guardarmi. Sostegno l’immigrazione e sono contro il muro, proprio come il tuo ragazzo, il papa

Don’t look at me. I support immigration and am against the wall, just like your boy, the Pope

Nessun oliveto? Non mi aspettavo.

No Olive Garden? I didn’t expect that.

RUSSIAN

Мне совершенно нечего сказать.

I have absolutely nothing to say.

INDIA

to kaheen koee haimbargar nahin?

So no hamburgers anywhere?

tumhen pata hai ki aapako apanee nadee mein bahut saare dookee milee hai.

You know you got a lot of dookie in your river.

JAPAN

Anata no shushō no sei wa Abedesu ka? Watashitachi ni wa sore o nanoru shachō ga itakaradesu.

So your Prime Minister’s last name is Abe? Because we had a president who had that as a first name.

Gojira ga arawareta toki ni keihō nado ga demasu ka?

Do we get an alarm or something when Godzilla shows up?

GREECE

Αστεία ιστορία. Πριν από πέντε χρόνια γελούσα σε σας.

Funny story. Five years ago I was laughing at you people.

SAUDI ARABIA

‘ana ln ‘akadhib. ‘innah harr kama aljahim huna. alhararat aljaffat mukharaty.

I’m not going to lie. It is hot as hell out here. Dry heat my ass.

GERMANY

Ich würde mich freuen, die Hand deines Kanzlers zu schütteln.

I would be happy to shake the hand of your Chancellor.

MEXICO

Tren de las dos maneras móviles ahora, perra

Train’s moving both ways now, bitch.

CHINA

Suǒyǐ zài zhèlǐ, tāmen zhǐshì jiàozuò cāntīng, ér bùshì zhōngguó cānguǎn?

So here, they’re just called restaurants, not Chinese restaurants?

Wǒ méiyǒu tóupiào gěi húndàn

I didn’t vote for the asshole.

FRANCE

Je ne peux que parler pour moi et j’adore Paris.

I can only speak for myself and I love Paris.

AUSTRALIA

Crikey! I don’t think your military is scared, mate.

I don’t think that your military is scared.

HAITI

Seryezman, li vrèman vinn sa ki move.

Seriously, it’s really gotten that bad.

This will help you to decide whether you want to get in on the ground floor of this rapidly growing market. I’ll provided my Kickstarter information at a later date.

 

Copyright

 

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One thought on “Flash Cards for Ex-Pats

  1. I absolutely that. You took a great deal of time and effort to do that research, and I just think it was funny, realistic and very entertaining.

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