I was out doing some errands recently in South Florida. Upon completing the final task, I headed for home. I was driving in the leftmost lane of a three-lane road. It was the middle of the day so traffic was lighter than normal. As I approached a short line of cars stopped at a red light, I absentmindedly glanced at myself in the rearview mirror. This is unusual for me as I rarely even look at myself in the bathroom mirror. Even while shaving, I only look at the part that I need to at any given time.
This time, however, I not only looked, but noticed something in the front of one of my nostrils. The angle of the mirror gave me a slightly upward view, but at a relative mirror distance of about four feet. It might have been a tuft of hair. At my age, my nose and ear hair is growing considerably faster than the hair on my head. Unchecked, it would be quite intolerable. As such, I try to keep my nasal hair trimmed. It also could have been something worse. It could have been a booger.
Without thinking, I immediately used my thumb to probe the area. Fortunately, there were none of the unsightly dried mucus particles. Unfortunately, while in the comfort and quiet of my car, I forgot to check if I could be observed by another party. With my thumb still in my nostril, I turned to my right. There was no car in the lane immediately next to me. Good news so far. Beyond that, in the right lane, however, was a man standing with a smile pointing directly at me.
It was Magic Johnson. Yes, that Magic Johnson, the Hall-of-Fame guard for the Los Angeles Lakers, five-time NBA champion, and 1992 Olympic gold medal winner with the Dream Team. Magic himself had caught me picking my nose. As expected, Magic was larger than life. He appeared to be about ten feet tall. His image was adhered to the side of a Broward Transit bus, but as you can see from the picture below, he was focused completely on me.
Now I know that Magic, as an entrepreneur and investor, has partnered with Simply Healthcare to promote their services in South Florida. Still, I was convinced that he was looking directly at me. I told this story to Fabrice, a young friend who had dinner at our place that night. Two days later he texted me that when he was driving to work, he looked up to see Magic pointing at him accusingly. He told me that he had been texting while driving and was happy that Magic had called him out and would be careful about doing it again.
We have all experienced an increase in litterers, reckless and inattentive drivers, and even road rage. I, for one am pleased that Magic is out patrolling the streets and literally pointing out the guilty among us. I hope that others are sufficiently chagrined and look in their mirrors, not to check their nose hair, but to reflect on their behavior.
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